BONUS EPISODE - A Tribute to Jaimie Sherling

This tribute celebrates Jaimie Sherling, a cancer survivor, entrepreneur, author, and beloved former guest whose story of resilience and connection with the Madison drag community continues to inspire.

Ep. 38 - We were saddened to learn about the passing of a former guest, Jaimie Sherling.  In tribute to the beautiful soul she was, here is her original conversation from April of 2022.

We were deeply honored to have had a conversation with the inspiring Jaimie Sherling before discovering she had passed away from cancer in April of 2023.  This is a remastered version of Jaimie's original episode, "The You Do You Conversation" in honor of Jaimie's beautiful soul and bright light she always managed to shine, even when she didn't feel so shiny on the inside. 

 At the time we sat down with Jaimie she had emerged as a survivor with an incredible story to tell. Through her journey, she created a clothing line called "You Do You Sweets" for women adapting to their new, post double mastectomy bodies and authored the book "From Queen's to Queen's" that captures her unique life experiences with resilience and wit.

We delved into Jamie's life post-double mastectomy, exploring her transition to a new body and the vital support she received from her network of friends, family, and the Madison, Wisconsin drag community. Jamie's creativity shone through as she discussed the conception and development of her clothing line, as well as the writing process for her book. Her strength and determination are a testament to the power of self-acceptance and overcoming adversity.

Lastly, we touched on Jamie's profound connection with the drag queen community and the love and acceptance they extended towards her. Performing as a backup dancer in drag shows and finding solace in the joyous atmosphere, Jamie's spirit remained unbroken.  She was transparent in the difficulty dealing with the lows and embraced the highs, not matter what they were.

We encourage you to pick up her books for inspiration and in honor of the beautiful spirit and light that she was to everyone she met.

From Queens to Queens: How the Madison Drag Community Saved My Life
I'm Tough...and I Cry Alot
You Do You Sweets Clothing

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Music Credit:  True Living by Patrick Moore

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Transcript

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Remembering Jamie

Helen 0:00

Welcome to assorted conversations . I'm Helen,

Maureen 0:03

and I'm Maureen . We wanted to tell you all that we'd spend some time checking back in with our guests . And as a result, when we go back and look to see how they're doing, we find out what's going on in their lives . And we got the unfortunate news that one of our previous guests, Jamie Schirling, has passed away She was battling cancer at the time we had a conversation with her . We just wanna remember what an amazing person she was .

Helen 0:33

Jamie was featured in our u do u conversation and what drew Maureen and I to talking to Jamie was she was a breast cancer survivor . And with no business experience, no fashion experience, went out and started a line of clothing for women who had undergone double massectomies like she had, and she called it you do you sweets . That was initially what caught her attention . But in that time, she'd also written a book called from Queen's to Queen's how the Madison, Wisconsin drag community saved my life . And she really wrote about the first part of her life and the day we had our conversation with her, she was not having a good day . I think Maureen, she did share with us that the cancer had come back and she was undergoing treatments ?

Maureen 1:29

Yes, she did .

Helen 1:31

And one of the things that she said she was down about that day was the book she wrote hadn't become an Amazon number one best seller . And that was one of the goals she had set for herself . She was turning away from her clothing business, really focusing on the book because she found it was a comfort . It was uplifting . She got great feedback from her fellow cancer warriors and survivors . As well as her loved ones . Drew, the persistence of one of her good friends, Dan, Jamie ended up writing a second book . And I got to vote on it . I got to vote on my cover art because she posted it on Instagram . Jamie's second book I'm tough and I cry a lot did become an Amazon best selling book .

Maureen 2:26

What a wonderful thing ?

Helen 2:28

Yeah, Maureen, what do you remember about Jamie ?

Maureen 2:32

I remember about Jamie that despite the fact that she was having a bad day when she spoke with us, just everybody around her and who she surrounded herself with in order to get through what she had to go through . She had friends and family members therapist, she really reached out when she needed help . And that's just a great reminder to all of us that whatever we're going through, reaching out for help is a good thing .

Jaimie Sherling 3:02

Mhmm .

Helen 3:04

And and Jamie was a resource to others, especially, you know, those who are suffering with cancer like she did .

Maureen 3:10

Right .

Helen 3:11

Her sarcasm, her sense of humor, her writing style, I have both of her books from Queen's to Queen's talks about the beginning of her life through her marriage and divorce and finding solace in the drag community and what an uplifting portive group of folks that was to her as she was struggling to accept her new body, her new life, I'm tough and I cry a lot is just as pointed as as the first one . So we highly recommend you jump on Amazon grab one or both of Jamie's books, we felt that a fitting tribute to rerun her original conversation with Maureen and I . Our love goes out to her daughter Avery, her son, Ben, the rest of her immediate family . And all of her friends who she considered family . Thank you, Jamie, for gracing our microphones your spirit and and your bright light hasn't dimmed . Welcome to assorted conversations .

Maureen 4:37

The podcast with everyday people sharing stories of following their passions as they pursue happiness So Helen, we're back and we are starting to get into the groove of our biweekly rhythm ? Oh, yeah . Biweekly . So tell me Helen, what can people do to help us make sure we're visible to new listeners ?

Helen 5:04

Well, Maureen, glad you asked . Leaving us a rating and a review wherever you download your podcasts, but specific quickly on Apple Podcast, if you're an Apple Podcast listener, your ratings and reviews help us become discoverable by other listeners who may enjoy our content . So we have received fantastic feedback . Please keep it coming . If you haven't already left us a review or rated the podcast, please do show it really helps us out and we would appreciate you sharing the podcast with just one other person . And that'll help us grow and continue to bring our guest stories to you every other week . Now . So this week's guest, we had a blast talking to her . If I were to title her, episode something different . I would call it when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and add a splash of vodka .

Maureen 6:10

Oh, my gosh . Absolutely . To see somebody face adversity and challenge and find their passion through that . It was amazing . She is just taking life by the horns, so excited to share her with everybody .

Helen 6:29

Yes . Her story is fascinating . And through her adversity, as as Maureen mentioned, she she has found a way to channel her passion into different directions . And there isn't anything this woman can't accomplish So she is a cancer warrior . She is an entrepreneur . She is a clothing designer . And her latest crowning achievement is she is a published author . And her book from Queen's to Queen's is available now on Amazon or wherever you pick up your books . So take a listen to this week's episode and we'll see you on the other side .

From Breast Cancer to Flat Fashion

Helen 7:19

Today's guest, Jamie Sherling, has ridden the roller coaster of life embracing the highs and leaning on loved ones to get through the lows . She's a mom, a dancer, an entrepreneur, and an author . We are so happy to have Jamie with us Welcome to assorted conversations Jamie .

Jaimie Sherling 7:38

Thank you so much, Helen .

Maureen 7:40

It's so good to have you here . It's great to meet you .

Jaimie Sherling 7:43

Happy to be here . Thank you, Maureen .

Helen 7:46

You were diagnosed with breast cancer . Correct ?

Jaimie Sherling 7:49

Yes . Mhmm .

Helen 7:50

And you had a double mastectomy .

Jaimie Sherling 7:56

I had it in one breast, but the genetic testing came back . I tested positive for the Check two mutation and one, it's you have higher incidences of other cancers, and one of them is having cancer in your other breast was thirty percent . I thought, no way . Thirty percent . I felt like I was just waiting . I would just be waiting for it, not a maybe, but of when is this going to happen . So that's what made me decide the double spectrum . It was genetic testing .

Helen 8:23

And after you have the double massectomy, I can't imagine what that must feel like . You've already you you mentioned the hair loss, but then to not have your breasts .

Jaimie Sherling 8:38

That thing is the hair was often harder than breast, which probably doesn't make sense to a lot of people . But I think for me, the hair is so visual to everybody .

Helen 8:50

Right ? Mhmm .

Jaimie Sherling 8:50

Whereas dresses, like, depending on what you're wearing or building whatever, it might not be obvious with, like, the hair loss, especially when you when you're in the thick of it and your hair is really, really, really gone and it's almost you get that look of, oh, you're sick . Like, they know you're sick .

Maureen 9:07

Mhmm . Right .

Jaimie Sherling 9:08

For people aren't seeing what's underneath my clothes necessarily . So that's a different perspective there . But I mean, it was definitely definitely hard to reconcile of like, oh, okay . So this is my body now . And showers the first few times were hard, and I didn't look right away . Some people do . Some people don't . I didn't . I definitely kept kept bandages on for a bit . And the other thing that probably helped that as well was wearing prosthetics . They did wear prosthetics in the beginning . Right .

Maureen 9:38

And

Jaimie Sherling 9:38

so I remember I hosted drag show benefit . It was maybe six weeks after my surgery . And I wore prosthetics in this little kitty little purple purple sequin dress because, of course, and a friend saw me not someone I know super duper duper well . And it said, oh, how you doing ? Or you got your surgery coming up ? I already did . So it was like, she didn't know .

Helen 10:06

Right . She couldn't tell .

Jaimie Sherling 10:08

She couldn't tell .

Helen 10:09

Yeah .

Jaimie Sherling 10:09

Correct . She could not tell because so I felt like the prosthetics were almost like a transition of, like, Yes . This is your new body, but it can kind of still seem like the body you had . Yeah . Right .

Maureen 10:22

Right . That you're not gonna have to deal with other people's reactions about the change .

Helen 10:27

Yeah . Correct . Because, I mean, you are you we're probably still processing the change yourself . It's kinda like you've got one foot in the old body and maybe one foot trying to accept and embrace the new body .

Jaimie Sherling 10:41

I'd agree with that . Mhmm .

Helen 10:43

I know that the drag community was was a huge support . Did you seek out any other support for yourself ?

Jaimie Sherling 10:52

Not specifically . I am in a number of closed Facebook groups, and I did actually find one that's called Fantastic Flat Fashions . And that one was specifically or it's like, oh, you have this new body, and let's let's talk about clothing . So I love that one . A lot of people are posting . I wear this and I wear that, and it's wonderful . So I'm in a few groups that way and I like that I feel like I can say whatever I want .

Maureen 11:18

Nothing is taboo .

Jaimie Sherling 11:19

Exactly . So I didn't necessarily seek support groups . Now, I know a lot of people doing . They're amazing, but for me, I am very blessed to have a great great group of friends . So between, like, my closest closest friends and then I had this drag community where I could just have fun and joy, And I still work . I work the whole time . I'm lucky that I work from home, so I do have that . That is a privilege . I know that not everyone has . So it's almost like for me, I think adding a support group even though it would have helped . It just it kind of would have been like, oh my gosh . This is one more thing . When would I go ? And then that's night ? And I have two teenagers and all the things .

Helen 11:55

Yeah . At what point after your recovery, did you see a need for women who chose to not wear prosthetics and not have, you know, breast surgery after having the massectomy what sparked you to say, we need a clothing line for flat chested women .

Jaimie Sherling 12:16

So isn't there a quote that something like necessity is the mother of invention or something like

Maureen 12:22

that . Right ?

Jaimie Sherling 12:23

So there it was . I used I used the prosthetics at the beginning, and I do think that was for me a good transition time . I think you got the one foot in the door, all of those things . And then I hit radiation . So I had six weeks of radiation five days a week . Felt really good during, but afterward . So I was glad I asked my radiation oncologist because I was doing so well and she said, no . No . You're not gonna escape without anything . So about ten days after I finish radiation, then my skin was like on fire . Right . It was worse than the worst sunburn I ever got in Hawaii . It was very, very awful and terrible . Again, the privilege of working from home . I worked huge shirt and just was slathering aloe and lotion and aloe and lotion and it just but it still felt like I was not burst into flames . So one day, I needed to go to the store . I don't even remember why . And I thought, well, I'll just go like this . And I remember walking around the store thinking, Well, this is alright . Like, I guess, either no one cares or I shouldn't have cared at all in the first place . And the world is an ending that I'm out here without my prosthetics on . And then that turned into, well, maybe I don't wear them at all anymore because Most be real . How many women love wearing bras ? Like, come on . Like, if you don't have to wear them, do you want to ? Maybe not . So and mine were it was pretty heavy . Like, the inserts I had were heavy and it was tight and worse . So not super comfortable . And then I started trying on my own clothes, and the number of them just didn't for me, didn't look right . Right . And it was interesting because I just got into a discussion about this, and I grew where people are like, well, why do you try to hide your scars ? And it's a a form like, it shows your bravery and your strength or whatever, and I totally get that, and that's awesome . But for me, Like, especially like a v neck is gonna hit lower because you don't have breasts holding them up . Yeah . And for me, I felt like It's my story to tell . I don't wanna walk around and everyone, like, somewhat stranger on the street know this about me . Like, have this access to my information so to speak . Right . So it wasn't, like, I was hiding it necessarily even like kind of was, but Again, everybody is different, and everybody does something different, and you have to do it's best for you . But for me, a lot of the clothes didn't work . And did some searches on the Internet, and I thought, well, is there a line ? There wasn't one . No clothing line . I thought, oh, Well, maybe I can do this . And that was how it started . And because what not a person who doesn't know how to sew or ever worked in the fashion industry, of course, that person should start a clothing line .

Helen 15:07

You had no background in this . Right ?

Jaimie Sherling 15:09

Oh, zero . Mm-mm . Not at all . I learned a lot . I just started meeting people, and I can't remember the order . I felt like maybe I met someone at a local, like technical college, And then I met some people who were clothing designers locally, and it was just one person after another . I'd have conversations . I'd learned something new and then go from there . And one of the things that I was guided to know was that it didn't matter if I learned at a so apparently and I don't know any names, but apparently there's some well known designers who also don't know how to sew . I thought, oh, okay . So though the guidance was you don't need to know how to sew, you can still be a designer . And I thought, well, I know I could talk someone through well even if I saw an article . Well, change this and change this, and can you do this, and can you do that ? I don't know how to do it, but you do it, and my idea . So I'm the designer .

Helen 15:59

How did you start with your prototypes ?

Jaimie Sherling 16:03

So I first I first put a poll in one of those closed online groups ? Just the idea of, if I did this, what do you think ? And the response was extremely positive ? So I thought, oh, okay . I guess there's a need . And from there, I saw a pattern at, well, I should say, my teenagers saw it first . Saw a pattern at a garage sale in the neighborhood and whole stack, old patterns, and one of them I thought, oh, I like this, but I would change it to this and this and this and that's what became the prototype . So I worked with one of my dear friends and friends for a long time, Heather . And Heather, she knows how to sew very, very well . And so she helped she made the prototype, and then I worked with I found a pattern maker who then could make the pattern from the prototype so then it could be reproduced .

From Queens to Queens

Maureen 16:52

You know what I loved was that your teenager found something and immediately thought, Mom, this this could work for you .

Jaimie Sherling 17:00

No . I will I don't . I realized I didn't tell the story that way . So my teenager does know how to sew . So the teenager is, like, we gotta work together if you didn't have to go to high school . Come on . Well, that off . So Yes . My teenager does know how to sew . I don't . This is the teenager found the whole stack of patterns . For themselves . And then I was going to think German, that's how it happened . So I asked him an important part of the story I didn't mention .

Maureen 17:28

Nice way to obscure with one of their patterns . Good job .

Jaimie Sherling 17:30

Exactly . I'm like, very much .

Maureen 17:35

Do you also sell the patterns ?

Jaimie Sherling 17:38

I am planning on that now . So I'm not closing the clothing line . It still exists, but I'm wanting to focus more on the book . That's just my choice right now . And I did have people reach out about the patterns early on and originally I said, no way . Like, the business will close, but now I feel like I would love to sell all the inventory I have because I have pieces that are already made . So I would love to sell those, but then, yes, I am now open to selling the patterns and I have tags and My thought is I could ask them to put the tags on it . If they tell people about it, they could tell the clothing line . And if they don't, Okay .

Helen 18:16

So what is the clothing line ?

Jaimie Sherling 18:18

It is called YDI suites . Why do y stands for you ? Do you ? Awesome .

Helen 18:26

How long did it take you to get your your business off the ground .

Jaimie Sherling 18:32

I think I started those conversations in spring of twenty nineteen . Like, that's when I really started to think, oh, maybe I'll do this . I'm not sure . Start meeting with people all the things . And then I was ready to launch, oh, March of twenty twenty, and March seventh, I had a photo shoot . I had a photo shoot in my piece, like like like the standard piece, look beautiful, hair, makeup, the works, all the things . And then March sixteenth was when . So I thought, okay, I'm not launching this now . So I waited until until September of twenty twenty . And that was just a wait because, I mean, I was ready to go the whole time, but I felt like people are barely leaving in their homes, everyone's in yoga pants . Like, this is not the time . So But then finally, by September, I thought,

Helen 19:27

okay .

Jaimie Sherling 19:27

Well, some people are going back to work, and some people just wanna dress up because they wanna dress up, so whatever . So I'm not waiting anymore .

Helen 19:34

And and what what kind of pieces do you have in your line ?

Jaimie Sherling 19:38

They're all taps, so there's a tunic . There is a sleeveless tunic and then a short sleeve tunic and then there's a long sleeve tab .

Maureen 19:45

It's so nice to have something that is made specifically for your needs . Yeah .

Jaimie Sherling 19:50

That's what I thought too .

Maureen 19:52

You have quite the story, and I wanna know how you got to the point where you said, I need to write a book about this .

Jaimie Sherling 20:02

So I didn't make that decision for a while . So I actually started scribbling some notes in September of twenty nineteen . Just at a time that there was a lot of resolution of certain things in my life and just I don't know that cathartic experience . And I think I had in the way back of my mind that it might be a book, but I really wasn't sure . So it was just the beginnings of it . Right . And then the pandemic kept end . And in the spring of twenty twenty, I was not coping well . Some days, coping better than others . And someone who is a very social person, high high high extrovert . I have two teenagers that are with me half time . So every other week, I was completely alone .

Maureen 20:51

Right .

Jaimie Sherling 20:52

That just did not work for me . So Like I said, I did some coping, not so great, whatever, cried a lot, all the things . And then at some point, I don't even know when . But April ish, maybe May, I thought, fine . I guess I'll just write this book . I can't do anything else . And that's when I wrote the bulk of it . Was that late spring early summer ? I just wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote when I couldn't see my friends or really go out anywhere I wanted to go because we were pretty shut down . Right .

Helen 21:23

Right . Now your book was published in September of twenty twenty one . Correct . From Queen's to Queen's, how the Madison Drag community saved my life . Tell me a little bit about what sparked you to get moving and go all the way back to to the beginning, growing up in New York .

Jaimie Sherling 21:51

Well, I liked I don't even know when I came up with the idea, but New York is such an important place in my life, and I lived so the title is play on words because I lived the first seven years of my life in Queen's New York . So I think I just had that word play in mind and thought, oh, from queens, the actual Blaze queens, to these queens . And I was like, see, this was my destiny all along . And once and I came up with the title fairly early on and it never changed . So I was happy that it's stuck, and I would tell people, and either I'd get the reaction of kinda like, good job . Or my friends are in the community who the book was basically about, would say, So I couldn't change . I was like, that's it . That's the title . So I wanted to give a bigger perspective, and I definitely I didn't talk too much, at least I don't think I did, about my early life, but it was that, you know a little bit about me, to then know a lot more about me .

Helen 22:50

Right . Right .

Drag Queens and Self-Acceptance

Maureen 22:53

What was it that caused drag queens to save your life ?

Jaimie Sherling 22:59

Well, how do I begin ? So I'll just explain how I get connected to this community because it's not a usual way . So I have heard many people tell their stories . They go to a drag show . That's that . For me, I was in a in a musical with my friend, Josh . Josh is the choreographer . We became friends throughout that musical season . And then after the season was over, Josh asked if I would be a backup dancer for Beverly B in a drag show pigeon . At that time of my life, I had never seen a drag show I had never seen an episode of Repulse Drag Race . I knew what Drag Wars, but I had no personal exposure to it at all . Of course, I said yes . I mean, how could I possibly say no ? So I met so the first queen I knew I knew it was my friend, Josh . And then I showed up to this rehearsal space, which happens to be, Five Night Club, which is a place that I love to go see Drag . And I was there on a Saturday afternoon, walked in, it's, you know, the lights are on, the music isn't going . It doesn't really seem like a club . And then I met three other people, Michael Dan and Jacob, who I found out later also performed in drag . But again, I met them as they're male presenting themselves . So I have a unique experience that I met them, got to be friends with them . So it's almost like, oh, these are my friends, and this is that activity they do when I go watch it . And support them

Helen 24:23

--

Jaimie Sherling 24:23

Right .

Helen 24:23

--

Jaimie Sherling 24:24

as opposed to I'm gonna go to a drag show . So that's I know a different experience than a lot of people .

Maureen 24:29

So you actually performed within the show .

Jaimie Sherling 24:32

I did . I realized I was counting just the other day . I think I've been a backup dancer four times now . It's two for pageants, and I think two for my friend . Sprint Adam who is a pediatrician and their drag name is electrolyte, which I think is one of the greatest drag things ever . And I had a cancer diagnosis . I had some other not so great things happening in my life . Along rolled right along with that . And going to see shows, it was just this place of joy and happiness and love and acceptance and when I was not feeling like, I was looking so great and I did not like not having hair that was one of the things I didn't like the movies . So not having hair, not having breasts, and there I go going to these shows and Hey, gorgeous . Oh, hey, fabulous . You look great . And just showering . I'm like, okay . Keep talking . Keep talking . How does that not feel good ? It does .

Maureen 25:36

You just need to surround yourself with those people . Those people are the best .

Jaimie Sherling 25:40

Exactly . They just allowed me to be me and accepted me for who I was . I think in some ways it was an escape because I just there were times I just did not want to be home with a certain person . So I needed to leave that space and go to this space of joy and love and just being there consistently that I could go week after week after week . And there were times I well, many, many times I would be driving to five, and I'd be this not not hysterically crying, I guess . I was safe enough to drive, but definitely the tears flowing down my face . And I pulled into the parking lot, and I parked, and I say, Alright . Can't cry at a drag show, and I fight my face off when I go and die .

Maureen 26:24

I find that the people who most look for acceptance are able to give it without hesitation, and that community does it beautifully .

Jaimie Sherling 26:34

I agree with that completely .

Maureen 26:35

Mhmm .

Jaimie Sherling 26:35

Mhmm . They know what it's like to be excluded to be ignored but not be accepted for who they are .

Maureen 26:44

What a wonderful support system to have ?

Jaimie Sherling 26:48

Completely agree with you . I'm so glad .

Helen 26:50

Jamie, in your book, you have it divided into, like, two major sections . The first one is pretty . And then the second section is know your worth . Talk to me a little bit about why you broke your book up that way .

Jaimie Sherling 27:11

I felt like it was just a good before and after, so someone calling me pretty in an unexpected time and way . And then kind of hearing that enough and hearing that enough, but you're maybe not believing it . And then you turn that corner of you start believing it yourself . And you're worth one of my favorite Queen's chaos, who it was actually Jacob who I met . One of the backup dancers, talked so often about know your words, know your words, know your words, thinking . Oh, maybe this is actually sticking, finally . I'm just getting more and more used to the idea of, like, I'm a lot and either you're here for it or you're not . And if you're not, Oh, well . Okay . And that's different . I was not that person four years ago . Definitely not . I know that I am not the same person I was .

Helen 28:01

Know when you're worth . Exactly .

Jaimie Sherling 28:04

No . I heard another one . Know your worth and add tax .

Maureen 28:10

I love it . Can I just tell you with interest ?

Jaimie Sherling 28:14

Exactly . Yeah . Who cares about ? So in December of twenty what would it be ? Twenty twenty ? Yeah . December of twenty twenty . I was very close to making the decision not to publish .

Helen 28:30

Really -- Mhmm . --

Jaimie Sherling 28:32

that would have just sat on a flash drive because I thought, oh, this is so embarrassing now to say it after the fact, but I was nervous that I was too mean to a certain someone in the book .

Maureen 28:46

Right . That you were brutally honest ?

Jaimie Sherling 28:49

Yeah . Oh, definitely . Yeah . I didn't really pull any punches . So I was nervous . Both just thinking about that person, but then also thinking of family and I was nervous . Like, are people gonna come after me ? And, surprisingly, no one has ? I mean Right . But is it still coming

Overcoming Adversity and Sharing Your Story

Jaimie Sherling 29:12

? I don't know . I would I actually worked with my therapist on it and had more than one session of, like, if people say these terrible awful things or if they say this or they say that, what am I gonna do ? And, like, so I got myself very mentally prepared . For those worst case scenarios, but none yet .

Maureen 29:32

You know what ? I love that you are so honest about the fact that there's a lot of trepidation in following your passion . It can cause a lot of worry and anxiety about Am I doing the right thing ? Is it gonna be successful ? All of those things that you want for it to work ? I'm feeling a little anxious about

Jaimie Sherling 29:51

it . Mhmm . For sure . I definitely asked they were kind of a small group of people, so Corshatch my best friend . Oh, but then I talked to a lawyer because I had a lawyer who's a friend of mine about what I was saying and could I get in trouble and things like that ? So I got some advice there, which is great . And then the more atypical one is that my therapist read the book, which is amazing . Like and I asked her and I said, I know this is not part of your job description, but, like, please, would you mind ? From a mental health perspective thinking if she read it and thought, whoa . Yeah . You should not publish this . This is terrible idea . I might have listened to her, and she said the exact opposite was Well, she said, before she even read it, she said, I don't even have to read it . You should do it . I'm just gonna tell you you should do it no matter what, but I will . And she read it and she wrote something very nice to me in an email about how much she enjoyed it and how wonderful it was and all of that . But I did wanna take her I don't know that I would have turned, you know, turned a different corner, but I at least wanted to hear her thoughts .

Maureen 31:03

Right . Well, and because she was there to look out for your best interest . Right .

Jaimie Sherling 31:07

When we had had a longstanding working relationship, you know, by that time, we had already been I'd been seeing her in sessions for over a year . And so I felt like, you know me, you know who I am, you know, a lot about my mental health . And again, you're looking out for me . So I asked and she was kind enough to oblige . Here is a funny thing about when my book came out just the way things happened . I pushed and pushed and pushed that I had a launch date . So September eighteenth, I picked that date, and I never publicized it, but I don't mind saying it here . I picked that date because it's my brother's birthday, my brother who passed away from cancer almost ten years ago . And so I knew it was gonna be just in September, so I thought Yeah . For, like, it was just for me that I wanted it to be that day .

Maureen 31:53

What a nice tribute to your brother in his memory to want it on his birthday ?

Jaimie Sherling 31:59

Yeah . Me special . So launch day, the book is available for purchase online . And people are texting me and messaging me and my social media was blowing up . But I wanted to get the book in a slightly different way where it was gonna be a lot cheaper . So I didn't have a physical copy of my book for maybe two weeks . So people are sending me pictures and they're sending me their screenshots . I believe you didn't exist, but I still don't have a copy .

Maureen 32:29

Right . Everybody else would it . But the art

Jaimie Sherling 32:32

people holding my book, but I wasn't holding my book .

Maureen 32:36

We might wanna put out a call to Reese Witherspoon .

Jaimie Sherling 32:39

Oh, yeah .

Maureen 32:40

Per earlier conversation when Helen wasn't there .

Helen 32:43

Oh . What did I miss ?

Jaimie Sherling 32:45

So I was saying, this is me being very vulnerable, but that's what I do . Why not ? I had a moment where I was really sad about not being on the best seller list and all the things . And then I was saying, Man, if somebody could just pass my book on to Reese Witherspoon, I really appreciate it .

Maureen 33:04

She would play the part perfectly . Don't you think Helen ?

Jaimie Sherling 33:07

Yeah . That would be amazing . I do think this book could be so visually appealing . There's so much room for so much . Just if nothing else, all the drag . Drag is so exciting .

Maureen 33:20

Yeah . Where can people get your book, Jamie ?

Jaimie Sherling 33:24

You can find my book in a couple different places . One, the easy one, as far as just people being able to type and search, is Amazon . So it is available on Amazon . Then if you go to YDIY Suite, stuck on my website, you can find different ways to get it . Like, if someone happened to be listening to this and they were local to me, they could go one of those local books stores, which I would love .

Maureen 33:44

Oh, wonderful . Yeah . I love when we can support local book sellers .

Jaimie Sherling 33:49

Me too . Bookstores are special .

Maureen 33:52

So what is it that you would like to do as you move forward with your book ?

Jaimie Sherling 33:59

And the dream because and this wasn't even my idea . This just came to me because a friend reached out to me and said, this person was just diagnosed and I wanna buy the book for her . And I had some in stack, and I wrote a note on behalf of myself and the other person . So they knew it was a gift and signed it . I'm thinking, what if this was gifted ? They have since connected with that person who was gifted the book . She found me on social media, reached out, and then explained . This do I am and thank you so much and I'm reading the book and and just being that support person . And that's the one step further because it's not just about I want you to read my book, but if it brings you joy, if it brings you comfort, if we connect and then I can be another support person for you, great .

Maureen 34:51

When you think about your kids and all that you've gone through, what do you hope that they get from the experiences you've had ?

Jaimie Sherling 35:00

That's a great question . I hope they know that if they're going through something hard, to take it one day at a time and not fall into despair . I will say not to fall into despair too far because I do think there's a time for being sad and if you're going through something hard and you need their day, maybe days that you can't get up, that's okay, and I'm not gonna judge someone for that . But hopefully, they would come around and whether it's leaning on the people close them . Whatever they need to do to kind of pull themselves or have someone help them pull themselves out of it and keep on keeping on .

Maureen 35:45

Yeah . To be a role model like that for your kids is a pretty impressive thing .

Jaimie Sherling 35:50

Well, who knows if they listen to me anymore ? That's the thing .

Maureen 35:54

Oh, they're just teenagers now . Monkeys thirty one . Trust me . They listen . Okay .

Jaimie Sherling 35:58

They listen when you least expect it .

Helen 36:00

Right . They'll show you that they were listening . That never while it's happening, it'll it'll be years later .

Jaimie Sherling 36:08

You're hearing quote and think are you quoting me ?

Maureen 36:10

Yeah .

Jaimie Sherling 36:10

That's what I said . Wait a minute .

Helen 36:13

Jamie, this has been awesome . I I can't thank you enough for taking the time . I can't thank you enough for for writing your memoir .

Jaimie Sherling 36:21

Mhmm . Thank you for that, Helen . That's really I really, really appreciate that . I needed to hear that today .

Helen 36:27

More people need to read this because there's a lot of good lessons in here . Thank you . So Maureen, what did you get out of this week's conversation with Jamie ?

Maureen 36:45

Well, she was just an amazing person to get to talk to .

Helen 36:49

Yes .

Maureen 36:49

And all the things that she's faced and that she had a community of people to support her and to enrich her while she was struggling .

Jaimie Sherling 37:01

Mhmm .

Maureen 37:02

It's just a constant reminder to me that you don't need to struggle alone .

Helen 37:06

Right .

Maureen 37:07

The other thing that was really important for me was seeing that she was a real beacon for other people who faced adversity .

Helen 37:16

Right .

Maureen 37:18

And just finding someone like her when you are challenged, somebody who's gone through it can be so helpful in knowing that . Again, you're not alone .

Helen 37:28

Right ? I really loved how the book has become probably the most important thing for her . And what she is truly starting to get out of out of it as, you know, the book gets wider and and wider distributed . Is that she's really helping others by sharing her tough experiences .

Maureen 37:52

Right .

Helen 37:53

And you don't have to have gone through cancer or a divorce or any of the other situations she's gone through, but you can actually pick away and see some of the cornerstone pieces that helped her pick herself up and continue moving on and that could be an inspiration to anybody .

Maureen 38:14

It's amazing . To have that experience and to turn it into something that is just absolutely golden .

Helen 38:21

Yeah . She is she is a true inspiration . And she was such a breath of fresh air to talk to . Absolutely . So if you're interested in learning more about Jamie's journey, her books, her clothing line . Jump down to our show notes . We have links to everything Jamie related . And, Maureen, any parting words for this week ?

Maureen 38:47

Oh, power through people . Life is full of challenges, but you've got this .

Helen 38:53

Thanks for listening, and we'll see you in two weeks . If you've liked what you've heard, please subscribe and share with your friends and family .

Maureen 39:08

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Helen 39:12

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Maureen 39:22

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Helen 39:29

Thanks for joining us . And until next week,

Maureen 39:32

be bold,

Helen 39:33

be blind, and pursue your passions .