Assorted Conversations

Ep. 40 - The Teen Mental Health Podcaster Conversation with Filimon Meaza

• Helen

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Can you imagine a 17-year-old helping his peers navigate the complex world of mental health? Join us as we sit down with the inspiring Filimon Meaza, the creator of The Brief Dive podcast. Filimon shares his personal journey of self-reflection, emotional resilience, and positive self-talk, showing us how he transformed his own mental health and now empowers other teenagers on their journey towards mental well-being.

In this heartfelt conversation, we explore the meditation tools Filimon uses to stay focused, as well as his unique ability to attract an older audience while still focusing on teen mental health. We also discuss his observational skills and script-writing process for his podcast, highlighting the power of open discussions around mental health and the importance of taking breaks to avoid burnout. Join us for this incredibly insightful episode where we delve into personal growth and mental health with a young, passionate, and determined individual.

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Credits

Music Credit: True Living by Patrick Moore

Royalty free music license purchased at soundotcom.com

Helen:

Every day people following their passions.

Filimon:

That's probably like one of the highlights of my life so far just being able to be creative like that, Something of a wisp on it And then I decided to get another hive and that turned into a lot of hives. As long as I can do that, i want to be a good citizen, help people out.

Helen:

Putting themselves out there, taking chances and navigating challenges along the way. I absolutely identified with having stage fright because, you know, anytime I went on stage, i just felt like I was having a hot attack Very first lap very first practice session, i crashed.

Maureen:

Turned the car upside down, made a spectacle of myself and I got back on that horse and started riding again.

Helen:

As they pursue what makes them happy and brings them joy. As long as people are having a good time and I have the opportunity to put smiles on people's faces, i love what I do. I have done things that I never thought I could do. This is Assorted Conversations, and I'm your host, helen. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome if you're listening for the first time and welcome back if you're tuning in for another Assorted Conversation. This week's conversation is actually the last recording Maureen and I did together in May or June of 2022.

Helen:

We get to spend time learning about our guest's journey of self-reflection and commitment to change in order to improve his mental health At the age of 17 years old a ripe old age of 17,. he now shares what he's learned and continues to discover on his podcast in order to help teens navigate stress, build confidence and develop emotional resilience. He was an incredible guest, incredibly mature and really just wants to share with others who may be struggling with some of the things that he struggled with different strategies, techniques on how to navigate that stress, get through those tough times and live a better life. Take a listen to this week's episode and I'll see you on the other side. This week's guest is helping his teenage peers manage their mental health. through his podcast, the Brief Dive Host, philemon Meaza shares his perspectives on how our minds can function to our advantage or our detriment, while providing his take on positive self-talk, daily affirmations and so much more. We are so happy to welcome to Assorted Conversations Philemon Meaza. How are you, philemon? I'm good.

Filimon:

Thank you for asking.

Maureen:

This is. I just find what you are doing absolutely amazing and because you are sharing some of the deepest parts of yourself out with the public, for people who are in need, and I'm really, really excited to have this conversation with you Tell me how you got started down this road of building this podcast.

Filimon:

Personally, i went through some things. It sucks when no one is there for you and that's just the last thing I want someone to feel, especially at our age and especially during the quarantine phase. I chose to start the podcast. It was big. It was a big decision for me, knowing that I don't like putting myself out there, but I feel like the reason was more important than my fear for putting myself out there.

Maureen:

Oh wow, You overcame your discomfort to help others.

Helen:

Yeah, i think that's huge and I don't think we've mentioned it yet, but you are 17 years old. You have that realization that the cause is more important, the potential to help folks is more important than your own fears, is just incredibly mature. I don't know what, 17 years old, if I would have made that decision.

Maureen:

I'm thinking it over right now.

Helen:

What did I do?

Filimon:

I think it started when I moved and it kind of isolated me from friends and distractions. It was a big page turner, if that makes sense. Some said I did a whole 180 switch. I just stopped cursing, i stopped playing video games, i began to have an old soul and became more introspective. I think that's what geared me towards the podcast.

Maureen:

Wow. For a lot of people, a change like moving and moving away from the comfort of friends and places that you know is incredibly hard. You saw it as an opportunity. It sounds like you did a lot of and, especially because it was COVID and there was quarantine, there was nothing but time for you to think about your circumstances. What was it? What was the thing that you heard in your mind that said this is the direction I need to go? Did you see the 180, or did just other people see the 180?

Filimon:

It was a build up of a lot of self questioning. I took a lot of silent walks where I just leave my phone at home and start thinking. Sometimes I think too much. I would start asking myself questions like why would I make this decision when I was younger? How does this affect me now? What do I want to make myself or bring myself to the world? What purpose should I bring? It was a little too deep for a team, but it changed a lot. It was questions like what should I have done differently? What could I be doing now that could take me closer to this destination that I want?

Helen:

It sounds like you found purpose in those silent walks and through all of those questions, sort of yeah, well, and you have to have that final destination or that purpose in mind in order to change things up, to start the journey closer to what the new destination?

Maureen:

is.

Helen:

What were some of the things, if you don't mind sharing what were some of the things that led you to reexamining them from a different perspective?

Filimon:

I used to be a class clown and I had always asked my like. When I was taking these walks, i'd ask myself you know, why would I have little to no respect for myself? Because I would do literally anything for attention, anything for a giggle or laugh. There would be moments where I treated people the way I would not treat people. Now I had a potty mouth, i just start cursing everywhere. I felt like I had no respect for myself even when I was with around my friends and I just felt like I needed to be bigger to be respected. And I just took a look at all the moments where that came up.

Maureen:

So looking at how other people treated you and saw you, as well as how you saw yourself, really made a big change in your thought process of is this how I want to be seen going forward? What do I want out of life? Is this how I want to be seen going forward? Do I want to be seen as somebody who takes nothing seriously and can't be taken seriously?

Filimon:

Yeah, it was exactly like that, where, like I want to be seen as a person that's respected and what I used to do was definitely not someone you know you should respect And I think I just did a lot of isolation and thinking It was a little too much I can say, but it was enough to turn on the light bulb, if you call it.

Helen:

Yeah, yeah, kind of having that epiphany.

Maureen:

You may have the soul of a philosopher, I know.

Helen:

I know, At 17 years old, Right, Philemon, what were you know once you identified? here's how I was, here's how I'd like to be? what are some of the tools or tactics you used with yourself to kind of move in the direction you saw yourself?

Filimon:

going Well, mostly like the hardest thing for me to do is just the doing part. It's really fun to say the tips, read a book and do all that stuff, but the second, it came to actually doing it. that was like the hard part. I just did things like meditating. I think silent walks were probably the best thing for me because I felt like my thoughts were like a balloon. So if I was inside, it just to stay in there and if I went outside, it was just infinite And I didn't. I wish I listened to more music because that would have helped. Yeah, it was just like a lot of meditating, a lot of FaceTiming people that I enjoy talking to and walks.

Maureen:

I'm impressed that you understood that you could say the things and it was easy to say the things. But to do the things is incredibly hard because you had developed a habit of doing things in a certain way and breaking habits is incredibly difficult. So how did you train yourself to establish a new habit around the changes you wanted to make, so that it came from being in your mind to being in your actions? First, off.

Filimon:

I'm like I give off the vibe that, like you know, i'm on top of my stuff. But you know I can I get really lazy sometimes. But on the days where I do pretty good, i think the reason pushes me the furthest and it just blocks out the laziness and everything. And if I feel like, if that reason is strong enough, then motivation will just naturally cultivate and habits like, and habits sorry habits will naturally build. And if you just do it over time, especially during the days where you just really, really don't want to do it, those are the days that that build you and test you. That's how I like to think of it.

Maureen:

What's an example of something that you changed, that you were really excited or you had like a really good day around?

Filimon:

I think I'm going to say it again It's the walks. It's just the silent walks, I think the first one I took I just left it at home and I feel like When I moved, it just felt like I was trapped in a house and I was locked in a box far away And I felt like outside was like the only way where I could feel like we're all looking at the same sky and the world is just really big.

Maureen:

So you felt, while you were by yourself, you felt connection. Yeah, That's amazing, yeah, that's very cool.

Helen:

Yeah, it's funny. A lot of people, i think, do not Associate being alone with connection. It's connection with yourself.

Filimon:

Yeah, and it's like a lot about getting out of your head and doing it. I do have days where, like you know, i feel lonely and I just want to soak and I just want to stay in the bed. I don't want to do anything. That happens frequently. That's more of like a me thing. You know, i'm working on that. But on the days where I walk, i think I think when I feel bad, i just tell myself to walk Without even thinking Yep, so I can start the day off better. Yeah.

Maureen:

I've seen people who say, like they do that, they do that as a way to quiet those negative thoughts, like I just kind of clean a slate, as it were.

Filimon:

Yeah Yeah, that's how it feels like for me. I think too short, then it doesn't feel refreshing, and then too long, it's just it feels like a workout. So a nice sweet spot in between is nice.

Maureen:

I'm with you on that, once it starts feeling like a workout man.

Helen:

Yeah, i don't know how long this was.

Helen:

That's right. Well, and one of the things you said which I think is really key is that that's how you start your day And that will set the tone for the whole day. I know in in Philemon, you are not the only person that wakes up in the morning and goes, oh again, i have to go through this BS. It's starting the day off with the right tone that will get you out of that and help you build a better habit. Now you said you meditated. Was there a particular time of day that you did that, or did you just do it when you felt stressed, to kind of refocus yourself?

Filimon:

Normally, when I I feel stressed or just really really sad, meditating is not the first thing I think of. Just the first thing. I think of just going straight to bed, playing video games, walking to you And yeah, i think I do it after showers, something about showers just just feel better. I like the morning, any time of the day when I feel like I need it before events is a big one.

Maureen:

So it allows you to? what does it allow you to do? Does it allow you to focus on the event or take stress and anxiety away from the thought of the event?

Filimon:

It's a little bit of both, because sometimes I get like intrusive thoughts when I'm in the middle of the event And it doesn't silence it all the way. They're still there, but I feel like they're a little easier to control before I walk through the door.

Maureen:

That's awesome. That's awesome For you. Are there any tools that you use when you meditate?

Filimon:

They say there's no right, there's no wrong way of meditating, but I feel like I I think I had one moment where I realized I've been doing it wrong for like a year And I was remembering it myself. I downloaded this app called Medito and it really told me about like it felt like doing it in sets and reps And I felt like that was an easier way to count it like. Count it Okay. It was like every time you lose focus, you get it back, realizes it's like it's a thought and that's like one set, and then do that.

Maureen:

Okay, so it helps you. to people think, meditation is like oh, you're just kind of going blank, but our minds just don't do that. Yeah, Right. It's in, and so this is a tool that you use that helps you to recognize when your mind is engaging when it shouldn't be, so that you can set it aside and get back to focusing on the meditation portion. That's excellent.

Filimon:

Exactly.

Maureen:

Oh my goodness, this is awesome.

Helen:

After going through all of this, making the transitions that you've made, learning what you've learned, when did the idea to put together your podcast come about?

Filimon:

I think it started when I was playing games with my cousins, like video games, and one of them started a YouTube channel And I've always had something in the back of my mind of how like I've always wanted to do something and how I wanted to put myself out there. And I saw the views on his and I was like, shoot, i got to do something. I chose mental health because of the need of like, especially during the quarantine times, and teens, because I'm a teen and I didn't realize midway through the podcast that I attract, you know, an older audience. I mean, if I was a teen, i wouldn't listen to a mental health podcast every day. So I'm in the middle of, like, figuring out my niche. I know I like to talk about teens and it's from a teen perspective, but I also like to like go a little bit older. I'm in the middle of figuring that out.

Helen:

Yeah, and honestly, even though you're 17 years old, you know a lot of stuff that you've said already can apply to anybody at any age.

Helen:

You know because I think the entire world Has been through the ringer over the past two and a half, three years And I don't know The like the handful of times I turn on the news for three minutes. I don't see that it's going to let up anytime soon. So I think we're all trying to figure out how to cope and deal with pandemic and lockdown fatigue, plus all of the other issues that are just floating around out there. So I would never discount the fact that you're a teen and you're talking about mental health. You know that it wouldn't apply to adults, so I can definitely see where adults would take an interest in what you have to say, not just for themselves. But you know, maybe they've got teenagers in their lives that aren't communicating correctly or communicating at all about some of the things that they may be struggling with, and maybe folks are trying to get some insight from a teen to help, you know, loved ones in their lives.

Maureen:

That and the fact that so many of us, as adults, never resolved any of our teen stuff. So, philomon, i am telling you like there is no end to the opportunity to heal. Yeah, it's to your point. Like, because you are focusing on this, you recognize you need to do it on a regular basis And you're expressing what you're experiencing as a teen, can bring up things for people who are adults and go, hmm, and you know that may be part of my ongoing issues.

Helen:

Exactly.

Maureen:

So you're expressing it and you're being very public with it is just a true gift to people, mm-hmm.

Helen:

Yeah, and it's not a topic people are comfortable talking about, especially when they're relating it to their own personal experiences.

Maureen:

I think that's one of the things I appreciate most about it, philemon, is that you are helping to take a stigma away from it, because it's open conversation. It is something that people can discuss and should discuss, so that it's normalized and people understand how to support each other through it.

Helen:

Mm-hmm.

Maureen:

So that's huge.

Helen:

So tell us a little bit about the podcast I know you had mentioned. it's been out for about a year and a half. You've been doing it for a year and a half. What's your format? Do you release weekly?

Filimon:

daily. I used to do monthly a long time ago and then I switched to bi-weekly and then, like a week ago, i just switched back to monthly. I script the episodes. Some people say it's like pretty tedious, but I enjoy writing. I don't really have a problem with it. I come up with the topics based on what I see on my day-to-day basis. I see a couple arguing. The next episode is about relationships. It just comes and goes. Sometimes I have like 10 episodes racked up. I make them in batches.

Maureen:

So you really do a lot of work to prepare and you're very observant. You're watching the world around you and taking that into account because it's relevant for what's happening to people at least in your immediate vicinity, right then. and there You have guests as well. Tell us a little bit about how you get your guests, and you have some pretty interesting, very experienced, very knowledgeable guests.

Filimon:

I picked the right apples. I found them through what we found each other through through Podmatch. I read their description and these guys were the golden nuggets.

Helen:

Who were some of the folks that you were able to work with.

Filimon:

One was John Lee, and then Marie Riesberg I'm so sorry if I'm saying your name wrong And then Craig Van Sleik.

Helen:

And who were these folks?

Filimon:

It's like a mix. John Lee is like a co-founder of this app, building this company that helps you create an app for your brand. And then Marie she has like a colorful past where she was like trapeze, I think, And then she does singing and I was like, yeah, get on the show. And then Craig, he is a professor and I felt like these, these, how do you say it? It just felt like coming again A variety.

Filimon:

Yeah, the variety, that's what it was Yeah, like my English is not that good now, Yeah, the variety felt really like needed for the podcast.

Helen:

Oh good, so it'll lighten things up, yeah.

Maureen:

So and you talk, you talk about how hobbies are important.

Filimon:

Yeah.

Maureen:

Talk a little bit about that and how that improves mental health.

Filimon:

Well, personally I have a trouble, like I have trouble finding a hobby. I just do things and hopefully it brings me that that flow state. But for as for hobbies go like during quarantine I kept telling everyone definitely do a hobby, definitely keep yourself busy. Because that sort of creative outlet in that, that area where you should just relax the brain, if that makes sense, you know you come back from a long day of work, you just want to read a book, or you just want to walk the dog, or you just want to juggle for tennis balls, i don't know. But as long as you are expressing that creative outlet, then one thing could lead to another. Maybe, maybe not, but I think it's. I don't think I know it's just really, really beneficial for the brain physically And just I think it just gives you more confidence too.

Helen:

Mm, hmm.

Filimon:

Yeah.

Helen:

Mm, hmm.

Filimon:

In yourself and people can just smell it off of you if that makes sense.

Maureen:

They can see that you know what you said. You can try it and you maybe will like it, you maybe won't, but it's the trying it and trying a new thing and a new thing and a new thing until you find the thing that works. The things that don't work tell you about what you need to change and do differently. So, like you know, it's one of those things where failure or doing something that you dislike is sometimes the greatest gift that you can get, because you go oh, i know what I don't wanna do, i know what I don't like doing, and it helps you better refine the things that you really enjoy doing.

Filimon:

Exactly. yeah, it kind of like teaches you like that chipping down technique, where you're chipping the rock and getting closer to what you really want to do.

Maureen:

It's interesting too, because when you experience different things you take those skill sets to new things. It kind of elevates the next thing that you do.

Filimon:

Yeah, and some of this stuff you don't even put on your resume. You know, this is just a you thing And I feel like it builds character, it builds self-worth, self-identity, if that makes sense, and you just feel whole inside if that makes sense.

Helen:

Yeah, is that what starting the podcast for you has meant to you?

Filimon:

Yeah. Yeah, It felt like a hobby at first And there have been moments where it feels like a chore Or you know, It was like a show of the office.

Helen:

We can definitely sympathize with that Yeah.

Filimon:

And the moment I told myself this but sometimes I haven't followed this rule I said the moment that it turns, you know, not fun and more chore-like, take a break from it, detach and go do something else, another hobby.

Helen:

Right, we it's funny, maureen and I experienced it and have kind of been muddling our way through since about March. But like we were meeting every week and we were, we started out as a weekly release And then, i think in March of this year, it just I felt like I had two full-time jobs. I have a full-time job and the scheduling, the interviewing, the editing, the social media, the posting, the writing, the episode descriptions, it just became so much. And then you know, life happens And we took an unplanned spring break for that very reason. It was like, oh my God, we're on overload.

Helen:

It's a lot of fun, but it's a lot of work And the fun started to become the work. So we did have to step on the step on the break a little bit.

Maureen:

I'll tell you what, philemon, after decades of being in a corporate environment, for both Helen and I, to be on constant overdrive is the habit we've built And you forget like that only leads to burnout. So for you at 17, understanding the concept of taking a step back can actually renew you and make you feel closer to wanting to do something or taking on something different. or changing it up a little is a really, really healthy thing for you to do, because you get into a work environment and oftentimes there is no break. You know you are just on accelerator all the time. So, helen and I, we didn't know we were doing it to ourselves.

Helen:

Right. Until I looked at the Mac and went I don't even want to touch this, or I don't have the time, because I do need to get up and move. I do need to go visit friends or spend time with people.

Filimon:

Yeah, like I've had moments where I tell myself I'm gonna record four episodes and only record half of one, and I take a break after screaming at the computer and then the next day I just record four fresh good cookie episodes. You know what I mean? Yeah, right, and if it wasn't for that break, or that podcast detox that I like to call it, i wouldn't have come back stronger.

Helen:

Yeah, exactly.

Maureen:

So, now that you are, because you are a voice for teens, and Philemon, time marches on you're not gonna get to be a teen forever I got you. Take it from one who still believes she's only a teen.

Helen:

My body didn't get the memo.

Maureen:

I know.

Helen:

My brain is.

Maureen:

So retain that, retain that happy teen mentality in your head that you've established, you've worked so hard to establish. But as you see yourself growing and moving on in life, how do you see yourself kind of changing the focus? or do you see yourself changing the focus? Do you wanna continue to be a voice for teens, because many people do as adults?

Filimon:

I would probably change the age of the demographic, kinda like you grow up with me, sort of thing. But like I said earlier, i think, since it goes to like a wider range of audience, i'd like it niche to like a pinpoint, very specific sort of audience. but just the way the show is, i feel like it's more of just just anyone who needs something quick, brief. you're in a moment that needs a relief, click, play. And yeah, i think as I grow, maybe hopefully the audience grows with me And as I get older I'll probably just learn more things to share.

Helen:

That's awesome. What do you get out of doing this podcast Like whoa? what's the feedback been?

Filimon:

I just like like I get a satisfaction feeling knowing that I helped someone and I wish I could see them face to face and see the progress throughout the episodes. Right, because all I see are numbers And hopefully that hit someone. So I'm like the other day I got feedback from someone and it's the stuff like that that makes you want to continue. Yeah, that you're making a difference, Yeah even if it's not that much of an audience, it still feels good.

Helen:

Yeah, i know we talked about the challenge of overload and the importance of press and pause and stepping away for a little bit. What other challenges you know have you experienced, trying to get your vision up and off the ground, and how have you dealt?

Filimon:

with them. Just trying to find new ways to market is probably the challenge, and doing it all on my own is also a challenge too. Yeah, Sometimes I just go to you know my sister and talk to her like she's a brick wall, bounce ideas off of her, even though she's just nodding just up and down. For some reason that helps me get more creative and try to get that podcast energy flowing, because sometimes it just doesn't like to move And that's a real struggle. Doing it on my own, Yeah.

Helen:

So, Philemon, where do you see yourself going, not just with the podcast, but you're 17 years old. I'm assuming you're junior, senior in high school. Yeah, Where do you see yourself going, you know, with your career, And does mental health or does podcasting play a role in what you see in your future?

Filimon:

I like to steer towards the counseling route. but I keep telling myself this I don't want to close my options. Who knows, i could like something I don't like, being too far into something I might not like.

Maureen:

Right, you know what? Here's the thing you will be happy to hear. You can change your direction at any time in life, and I have done it multiple times.

Helen:

Me too.

Maureen:

I have different things that just sparked an interest or built on skills that I had, so don't ever feel like you're going to get stuck in something. There's always a way to choose another path that's going to bring you greater satisfaction if you're not currently satisfied with what you're doing. You've got this. Yeah, you've got this. You don't have to have all the answers at 17.

Helen:

Yeah, no.

Maureen:

And, like as it stands, you have way more answers than either one of us did, at probably 30, 40, or 50. So you're doing very well for yourself. Yes.

Filimon:

Thank you.

Maureen:

And you know, i think about all of the episodes that you have and what a diary that is of your experiences in your life and how you'll get to reflect back on those and assess, like how have I grown, where have I been, what have I done?

Helen:

Yeah. So you have an interesting body of work, yeah, and that might even be an interesting episode in itself.

Filimon:

Yeah, i'd always think it'd be funny if, like I, was like an old adult breaking down sad about life And I throw my phone and then an episode of younger me is playing on, a specific episode about like how can you help?

Helen:

Right.

Filimon:

Full circle moment? I'm not sure.

Helen:

Yeah, i think that'd be cool. But you know, film on just to correct you. We're a lot older than you and we still have the same mentality. You'll never get old and sad about life. You may have moments that are a little melancholy, but you got to hang on to that. You got to hang on to that spirit.

Maureen:

And if you need to just break open one of your old podcasts, You encourage yourself. Yeah.

Helen:

That's right.

Maureen:

Like, if I could do it, then I can do it now, absolutely.

Helen:

Film on Thank you so much for your time. Where can folks find you online? We'll have a link to your podcast in your episode description, but do you have any social media where folks can follow along with you?

Filimon:

Yeah, You can find me on Instagram. just call the brief dive.

Helen:

Film on. Thank you so much for your time, thanks for what you're doing and talking about mental health, talking about it from a teen perspective, and we are definitely going to stay in touch and I can't wait to see the next stop on your journey. So thanks for your time.

Filimon:

Thank you for having me, Ed.

Maureen:

It has been an absolute pleasure to meet you And just thank you for all that you're doing.

Helen:

Such a great conversation with Philemon. One of the things that stuck out to me was he told us off Mike that he's a really shy person, which makes the fact that he's sharing such personal stuff and broadcasting it even more amazing to me. And through our conversation it clearly showed how much he's worked on coming out of his shell. He reminded Maureen and I of some lessons we've already learned. But reminders are always good, and the one that stuck out to me was it's easy to plan but it's harder to execute. So here's completely transparent about that, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that struggles along with him. And throughout the whole conversation he was just so sweet and really was questioning if what he had learned really applied. A couple of times He was looking to Maureen and I for kind of reinforcement And I almost wanted to say to him look, we're all learning. The learning never stops And just because you're a quote unquote adult doesn't mean you have all the answers. We're winging it, just like the teenagers are. So it was a lot of fun to get to talk with him.

Helen:

His podcast episodes are quick, five to 15 minute nuggets, easy to listen to, with a variety of topics, from peer pressure to working on your assertiveness, dealing with failure all the way up to living a purposeful life. So jump down to the show notes for links to his podcast and his Instagram account and get ready to dive in. To wrap up this week's episode, if you're enjoying the content, please consider leaving a five star written review. Wherever you download your podcasts. Tell a friend about the pod or you can support the pod on buymeacoffeecom. Connect with me on social media Facebook, twitter, instagram or you can drop me a note at aconvospodcom. Thanks for listening and I'll see you in two weeks.

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